‘My second marriage had a lot to do with alcohol.’
We could talk about Buddhist rituals, conviviality from Dante Alighieri to the new ‘speakeasy’ in Soho, Ernest Hemingway and Jackson Pollock and how much it matters when it comes to French post-structuralism, but the truth is, at the end of the day, that we drink booze in order to get tipsy. Fact.
Now, you cannot really say that when you take care of a drink brand on social media, therefore you have to edulcorate the whole thing, and turn it into a lifestyle-related matter – you drink XXXXXX because you are a seasoned and urbane man, not because you want to get hammered, that’s the spirit.
Here are a few ways you can do things, when it comes to alcoholic beverages and social media.
The playful / ironic way
Have a laugh, this is supposed to be fun. Be responsible when you drink, but remember: alcohol is a social lubricant, and helps get the creative juices flow, so go ahead, enjoy! Look at Molinari and Newcastle Brown Ale. Top quality.
The luxurious / sophisticated way
You are not a dull, boring man with a grey, meaningless life. And this is not a drink. This is something else. Something more. From Frisco to the red carpet, you are a major player of that chess game they call ‘life’. You don’t get drunk, you get deep. That’s the difference. Absolut and Disaronno docet, in this case.
The “real deal” way
A drink by yourself means you are having trouble with the wife. A pint with a friend means it’s Friday, everything is alright, no worries, Bob Marley singing in the background, spring in Seville. Life is good. This is the “Guinness way”.
And then, there’s the Keglevich way, AKA the “WTF-cheap-not-funny-extremely-sexist-rude-oh-Lord” way.
Seriously, how bad is this?
What do you think?
“There’s only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your girlfriend.”
There are two simple rules brands must follow when a customer asks a question on any social network:
– be honest
– don’t be dishonest
Easy. But let’s start with a Freudian analysis.
Young children ask an average 4,566 questions a day. “Why this?”, “Why that?” and so on. Now, unless you are a heartless loveless and soulless being, you will try to answer at least to half of the questions. In this phase, two types of parents can be seen: the ones who try to come up with the right answer, and the ones who just come up with something – a half-truth, a lie, a who-cares-she-is-gonna-forget-about-this-anyway, a complicated half-lie which doesn’t really help and makes things look even more intricate, a whole plain big load of bulls**t and other countless ways to avoid that sad “Daddy doesn’t know (and doesn’t have an Internet connection), sweetheart…”
If you do it in the privacy of your own home, you’ll have to justify your behavior to your wife and kids, but if you are a brand on social media, your lies are likely to be exposed to millions, and eventually collect comments and reactions that won’t help your reputation.
Case 1 / Sky Movies HD
I believe trolling can be a useful and interesting activity, from a sociological point of you. Provoke someone, and see what happens. Action / reaction. Some brands are good dealing with that, some are bad, some are honest.
Some time ago I was listening to some music on Spotify. As I am a cheap person, I still use the free account, which means you have a limited amount of features, and every three songs there is someone trying to sell you something, with a cheesy ad.
So I decided to complain on Sky Movies HD’s Facebook page.
Here’s the reply. I quite like it.
Case 2 / Campari
The guys at Campari describe themselves as the skippers of “uniqueness”. It doesn’t seem so in the following post, in which a young lady pointed out the image is surprisingly similar to another brand’s JPEG.
Here’s the original, from Molinari Sambuca Italia:
And here’s the rip-off:
What do they do after she left the comment? They hide it from the page.
She finds out, and tell the guys “You hid my comment?? double #faillllllllllllll”. After a little while, the comment magically reappeared, with this reply: “Hi ____, our apologies, for some reason your link triggered our spam filter and hid your comment automatically. In response to your comment: we did not intentionally create a similar post, what can we say? Great minds think alike! J”
Now, if that is not a big, fat, shameless, impudent, cheap, insolent, brazen, blatant lie, then I am Diego Armando Maradona.
What do you think?
‘Headlines of death and sorrow – they tell of tomorrow
Madmen on the rampage
And I’m down in the tube station at midnight’
The Jam, “Down in the Tube Station at Midnight”
A few days ago I was down in the Tube station at midnight myself.
I saw these two billboards – Ad Men on the rampage – and thought “The Tube is just like Facebook: you use it because there is no alternative, it’s full of deceptive ads and illusory messages, people covertly look at each other, and pretend they are happy, when in reality they feel pretty miserable”
Then I thought of adventures and exciting trips, and finally understood why they always put the “Run Away” poster in the Tube, as it is the anti-travelling experience: you are underground, and usually you’re going to a place you really don’t want to go to – work – or even if you are happy to go somewhere – home, pizza restaurant, drinks with friends – you don’t enjoy the travel time.
The Tube is the right place to make people think about escaping, even if the story that is being told is untrue, romanticised and photoshopped – look at the two billboards, they stand next to each other repeating the same old story with the same old lies, larded with clichés and stereotypes:
Italy – a couple of fashionable, handsome, dark and mysterious young people, unable to contain an explosive passion for life, love, each other, and, ultimately, everything, are about to kiss each other, while savouring – not “having” or “drinking”, that’s too practical, i.e. not the Italian way – an espresso. I’m surprised there is no Vespa in sight.
Morocco – chaos, laughter, voices, yelling, clamour, shouting, flutes and other instruments, spices, colours, fragrances, loud, funny, crazy, cool guy who doesn’t speak English but gives you cool vibes anyway, bargaining, wrangling and dealing. Where is the camel? It’s the only thing missing.
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